It was a strange day...
I got a phone call from Don about noon today. He was in town for Ken Holyoak's funeral. Apparently his good friend, Chuck, had called Don and told him last week that Ken was in the hospital and then called him again when he died. I was saddened at the noise on Sunday at Ken's death because he and his family have been good to me for many years. I was not surprised that Don was in town. I was surprised that he called. It was during my lunch time so I was free to visit for a minute or two. It was weird. He looked kinda like the man I was married to, but was not as openly demonstrative as he was when he was with me. I am not sure why he wanted to visit, but, oh well.... Anyhow, when I came walking out the door, I saw his eyes get big and his mouth visibly dropped. He said " You look great!" I told him "Thank You" and that I felt great! We chatted for a few minutes. During our conversation, he said that Sharon would probably be in a wheelchair by the end of the year because her knee is barely functioning. He also said she is having heart problems. When I heard this, I said that she sounded like me LAST YEAR! I guess when you quite asking the Lord for blessings and you break one of the 10 commandments, He allows things to happen that might not otherwise happen. .. Like her father suddenly dying, her health drastically changing...
I realized in talking to him how blessed I had been in the past year. Don did not look happy or full of joy as I have seen him be in the past. Yet, I know that I have further joy to look forward to because I have been trying to humble myself and listen to the Lord's promptings. My life will continue to get better, while Don's and Sharon's can only get worse because the Lord is not the center of their lives.
I was able to walk away from Don with no tears and a light heart. I still miss what he and I had, but I don't want to be a part of what he has now!
I think I'm getting physically and emotionally better ever day...one day at a time.
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3 comments:
I do know exactly what you mean and exactly how you feel. Though I did love Les, the last time I saw him before he died he didn't look like the man I'd married. And, I loved the look in his eyes and the astonishment in his voice about how I looked and had moved on. I, too, left him that day with not a tear or regret, but rather joy in knowing that I would survive without him and no longer needed him in my life.
Do I think it was Karma in his death? Certainly not as death is not something I ever wished on him. But I am sorry for all the things he misses when it comes to the life of his only child. How blessed am I for seeing our child grow in love for his wife and his child and life. How more blessed am I that I now have a righteous priesthood holder in my life and home.
I can tell by the tone of your postings that you are getting on with your life. I sense happiness coming back into your life though I know that you miss Don. However, remember that he made his decisions and now he has to live with them. You will and are the better for getting on with living your life. Hang in there. I'm so proud of you!
Good for you Susan. You deserve all the blessings you have been promised thru the Gospel, so be strong and know your individual worth.
great Susie, I remember saying a long time ago, it would get easier and it does, sometimes it just takes us a while to allow Hevenly Father to heal our hearts but you are well on the way. Love ya !!
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