here is my first published memoir...

Disclaimer: A memoir is an account of a memory.. this is a memory that is seared into my brain with absolute clarity.. read it at your own risk...


In The Driveway…Just that Morning
Susan L. Tucker
It was 8:00 and I was still in bed on that morning after Labor Day. I was being totally lazy and decadent while watching Tom dress for work. Suddenly the phone on the bedside table came to life with a shrill noise. Oh, man. Who is that? What do they want… ”Hello.” It was the secretary from Charles Spencer Middle School.
“Mrs. Clawson, How are you? Are you working today? We’ve just had a teacher call in sick.”
Because I could think of no reason not to go, I said, “I’m fine. No, I’m not working today. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
While I showered, Tom, my sweetie and husband of six months, fixed my lunch of a ham sandwich and chips and packed my substitute bag full of the 5 minutes time fillers, puzzles, and reading materials he knew I usually took with me-just in case. In a bit, we were both ready to leave. He walked me out to the carport and put his IKON service log book and briefcase into his car while I put my purse and sub bag in my car. I was about to get in when I heard him call my name. I turned around. He was walking slowly toward me and I had ample time to drink in the image of him. His mostly dark hair sparkled like diamonds as the sun bounced off the gray strands scattered throughout. His baby blue shirt brought out the vividness of his blue eyes. God…how I loved that color on him! He had rolled his shirt sleeve cuff up on the inside of the sleeve instead of on the outside like most men did. His beautifully tanned arms looked oh, so sexy encased inside the pastel shirt. His dark blue trousers perfectly matched his shirt and showed off his 6’3” frame quite nicely.
As he closed the distance between us, he spoke my name again. This time, however, it was very softly. I continued to watch as he walked slowly toward me. Now, he was close enough now for me to see him mouth my name “Susan.” Then he leaned in and whispered gently in my ear… “The school will wait long enough for me to tell you how much I love you. I absolutely adore you. Now, you go off to work and I will be here when you get home.”
I stretched my 5’4” frame up onto the very ends of my tiptoes to hug and kiss him. I didn’t quite reach his ear, so I nuzzled his neck and told him “Just looking at you totally takes my breath away and I love you so much. These past six months have been absolute heaven. I cannot imagine my life without you”
Then, very deliberately, we embraced so tightly not even a sliver of sunlight could separate us …
Slowly, he pulled back and placed a kiss, soft as butterfly wings, on the bridge of my nose. Enclosing my hand inside his capable, even larger hand, he squeezed it long enough to let me know he was reluctant to go, but had to. Releasing my hand and then doing a gentle about face, Tom ambled to his car. Come to think of it, the car was baby blue in color, too. As he backed out of the driveway, he stopped the car in the road long enough to wave to me, blow me a kiss and flash me his wonderful smile. Then off he went. I watched him until I could see the car no more.
I was assigned to Mrs. Anderson’s room that morning. Around 10:00, the rain, which had threatened to ruin many a Labor Day picnic and cookout the day before, decided to quit threatening and came with a vengeance! It was as if Mother Nature had suddenly unzipped the grey/black clouds in the sky and the biggest, fiercest rain drops even created raced each other to the ground. It was unlike any rainstorm I had ever seen. Reaching for the window blind and pulling it up I said “Look, kids, it is raining so hard we can barely see the building over there!”
Finally, with nerves raw from doing rainy day dismissal for 28 students and the exhaustion that comes “the first day back after a holiday” school day, I pulled into the driveway. I turned the car off, closed my eyes in relief that this long, arduous day was over. Still with my eyes closed, I paused for just a moment, replaying in my mind the memory of that scene that morning on the carport with Tom. Enough of this… He will be home soon…I have dinner to make.
I opened the car door and got out. Reaching into the back seat to get a huge eggplant Momma had given me yesterday, I noticed a white van slowly pulling up at the end of the driveway. Since we lived just off a rather busy street, I thought maybe these people need some directions; I’ll wait before going inside.
The van stopped and three men in white shirts and ties got out. Actually, they looked a lot like Mormon missionaries who ride on bikes around town. I thought How odd that they are in a van and there are three of them. There are usually only two. All three of them approached me. As they got closer, I noticed that they did not have on the nametags that would have identified them as missionaries. One man held out his hand and said “Hi, Susan. My name is Dale and I am Tom’s boss.” I tentatively shook his hand, told him that Tom had always spoken highly of him and how pleased I was to finally get to meet him. Then I remembered Tom told me his boss from Albany would be coming over sometime that week to do an evaluation on his work. Okay, now it made sense- sort of. But, wait…I had never heard of an employer visiting a wife of an employee who was getting evaluated. This was just plain weird!
Then, I noticed that the men with Dale were very quiet and did not look happy or at ease about something. Really curious now, I looked back at Dale. He said, “Susan, you know that rain storm this morning?” I shook my head up and down, and then heard him say “Well, as a result of that storm, we received almost 5 inches of rain in an hour. I said “Yes, I even pointed out to my students this morning how fierce the rain was coming down.” Boy, this conversation is getting stranger by the moment! Why would three strange men come all the way from Albany just to talk with me about the weather?
Then, I heard Dale say, “Susan, I am so sorry. During the midst of that storm, about 10:00 this morning, there was a terrible accident on I-75. Tom was involved.”
In that instance, with those words, I knew, without a shadow of doubt that my sweetheart, Tom, was dead and would never be coming home to me. I don’t know how I knew, but I did.
As I collapsed into the arms of those three wonderfully, kind men from IKON, another undeniable thought struck me. Wait! ... Tom… he knew I loved him! I had told him! And I knew…oh, how I knew…he loved me too. He had told me so…in the driveway…just that morning.